Father wound: Why it blocks you from peace and how to heal it

You can be the most successful business/ career-oriented woman, the one with the polished brand, the well-earned promotions, the glowing testimonials, or the six-figure months on paper. But if there is a father wound, it will still not feel like it’s “enough.”

Just like that, you can fly first class to the Maldives, order green juice from your private villa, and lie on a beach at one of the most luxurious, exotic destinations on Earth. But if there is a father wound, it will still not feel calming, relaxing, peaceful…

I discovered this not just through my own experience of carrying the father wound, but also through holding space for many women who, despite external success, carried a deep emotional ache beneath the surface. And after having had hundreds of sessions facilitating transformation, one clear pattern stood out–

It is that,  when there is the father wound, it is hard to unconditionally receive. 

You know this is the case especially when: 

• You feel pressured to achieve things fast, as if time is slipping through your fingers. You may tell yourself that you’re behind– whether financially or career wise, even though you’ve accomplished more than most people you know.

• It’s hard for you to relax, pause, and slow down… You may find it hard to take a break– whether that’d be from your business/work/your to-do-list, because your mind is jumping from one thing to another on what you need to “fix.”

• You may doubt yourself and your abilities. And this is not because you haven’t “tried” enough. In fact you have tried many mindset programs, certifications, and acquired new skill sets, but no matter what you try to learn, it may still feel like you’re never truly capable enough for the vision you desire to create.

• OR You have achieved it all. You’ve built the empire, surpassed the milestones, or have booked out your calendar. But even then, it still feels like there’s more that needs to be accomplished…

And if you have had any experiences of it, know that it’s not because you’re “broken,” my dear. 

This happens to many high-functioning women, especially to those who feel tired and overextended from all the striving. And usually, this pattern comes from the father wound (call it the masculine wounding)-- whether that comes from your biological father, your stepfather, or simply the masculine environment you grew up in. 

And this wound impacts every experience you have in your life– whether that’d be in your relationship, career, business, or even just general personal well-being. When there is the father wound still embedded in your psyche, it leads to a lack of trust – whether that is lack of trust in men/ money/ timing/ or life in general.

And it can feel like you have to constantly be on guard, constantly be productive, or constantly be watchful in order to make sure you receive what you want.

This happens because the relationship we have with our fathers is our first ever experience of support, structure, and stability. When our father’s all-rounded love is not fully present, unavailable, or disconnected in our childhood, life feels exhausting like you always need to “earn” something– whether that’d be love, validation,visibility, or success. 

But my dear, this doesn’t have to be your truth forever. 

Your life doesn’t have to feel like it’s going at 10,000 miles per hour speed, leaving you unable to slow down and actually enjoy what you’ve built.

In the same way, your relationships don’t have to feel draining — like they require your constant proving, effort, and emotional labor just to become loved.

And your career or business doesn’t have to feel like it’s an identity you must perform in order to be loved, seen, or respected.

 In this article, I shared with you how I healed my father wound and how you can too. So you can return to the version of you who is already whole, loved, and peaceful.

Healing the father wound

For healing the father wound, what I see in the unconscious mind of my clients is that this wounded father figure almost always shows up as a rigid, demanding presence that taunts and torments the soul.

I’ve seen it in countless forms — a roaring dinosaur, a mechanical woodman, a prison guard, a shadowy monster crouched in the bedrock of psyche.

Each of them tells the same story: a structure of authority that’s not protective, but oppressive. It doesn’t hold you, but rather hems you in.

And so, it makes sense that no matter how much you try to move forward — into a new relationship, a new job, or that dream business — the same old childhood stories keep looping underneath.​​ That is, the story that says you are unseen, unsupported, and unvalued.

And that’s because the unconscious, which is deeply intertwined with the body, is still holding on to the old architecture. So even though physically you are no longer in your childhood situations, emotionally, it’s all that the body knows.

Think of it like building a sanctuary on a sandy foundation. Your current life may be safe on paper, but your nervous system still lives in “flight-or-fight” mode. It still flinches at what could happen in the future, still expecting the unpredictable mood swings of a father who couldn’t be trusted.

And so you find yourself drawn, again and again, to men whose love makes you anxious or careers that demand so much out of you. And it’s not because that’s what you actually want, but because the situations are familiar to you.

And the way through isn’t about merely fixing the external– i.e. trying to “earn more”, get into a new relationship etc. Because doing so only fixes the symptoms that show up in the world but not the root cause.

Rather, it’s about rebuilding the inner structure of the father that bleeds onto how we experience our lives. And I don’t mean trying to fix the father who raised you — what I mean is, the archetypal masculine within your unconscious. That is, the one who was never really safe. And instead, we want to reintroduce a new father. A divine one.

You can call him what you like — God, the Heavenly Father, the Universe — but unlike the human father, this new father isn’t loud or looming. It’s the source of steady, solid, stable love.

In the unconscious, He may appear as a mountain: unmoving, strong, and always there. Or as the wide open sky: vast enough to hold the roaring dinosaur of your human father without flinching.

In my client sessions, the God father shows up differently for each soul. That’s why I channel it uniquely for you — because your soul has a taste, a texture, and she knows the kind of masculine presence she’s been starving for.

And the key to healing the father wound isn’t just about “knowing” what you want. That is, mentally knowing that He is loving.

Rather, we want to experience the presence of the God father in the body. Such as, the way He stays when you cry. The way He doesn’t judge you for resting. The way He accepts you even when you fail.

That’s how you start to rewire the old father's wound, my love. You do this by giving yourself the opposite of everything you had to endure growing up.

If your childhood father only loved you when you achieved something. This God father would say: “I love you even if you do nothing.”

Or if your old programming says you have to hurry or else you’ll fall behind, the God father would say: “You’re safe even if you take your time.”

Or if you were told to bring pride to the family or else you would be a disgrace, the God father would say “You are loved, even if you fail.”

Your feminine soul will sigh to that in relief. But your mind? Oh, your mind will throw a tantrum. It will try to convince you that this kind of love is a non-existent fantasy.

That if you rest, you'll be a rotten vegetable, good-for-nothin. Or that if you take your time, nobody will take care of you. And that if you live without pressure, you’ll become “useless”, a piece of nothing etc.

But that resistance is also sign you’re on the right track, my dear. It means you’re dissolving the flimsy structure of the mind and instead are starting to move toward what your heart actually wants: a love that doesn't ask you to change who you are. A love that lets you be. After all the mind is also a little child also wanting father God’s love. 

Because the truth is, settling for conditional love (of the mind/ and the wounded father) — or worse, pretending you don’t need love at all — is what keeps us stuck in relationships that hurt, careers that overload us, or success that doesn’t fulfill you.

And to anchor the God father’s love, it has to live in the body. That means, not just in some high-vibe meditation or manifestation visualization. But actually experience that throughout your daily life, in the mess of it all.

For instance, if you had an issue with your boss at work, instead of wallowing in how you could have done “better” or trying to argue who’s right or wrong, it would look like letting in love from the God father who loves you in spite of it all. 

Or if there is a problem in a relationship, instead of trying to beg for your partner or try to earn his love, it would look like letting in love from the God father instead, who loves you in spite of it all.

In essence, healing the father wound isn’t about blaming your dad or endlessly reliving trauma just to understand it. It’s about reclaiming what you never received — and allowing that reclamation to reshape how you experience reality Now. 

It’s about walking through life no longer bracing for impact, but moving as someone who is gently held… Now.

Because when you let the God Father take the place of the wounded one — when you stop fighting, fixing, or performing, you return home to the part of you that has always been at peace… that is, the inner being who is in harmony with life itself.

Here, you find ever-present ease, tranquility, and softness. That means you don’t just feel peace when you are on a yoga mat in Bali, but you also feel peace when you are responding to emails, holding space for your client, or running your team meetings.

And the more you rest in that peace of who YOU are— as you let life become the God Father rather than the wounded one, your reality begins to shift in the most unexpected, beautiful ways. What you desire gets done through you in the right timing, the right energy.

Your sales page get written, your launch projects done, your client proposal checked off. All through soft presence, not force.

And they happen not eve because you’re “trying” to manifest. But simply because ease is the norm when you live with God.

~
Not only that, when you live in the ever-present peace and safety of the God-father, the people around you will naturally shift, in a way that brings more peace to you too. Such as your clients, your partner, or your team members, or even your loved ones who used to trigger you.

And it's not because you’ve asked them to, but because they can feel that something inside YOU has changed.

I hear this all the time from clients: their husbands soften, their friends respond differently, their teams become more self-led and collaborative.

And it all happens not because you are pressuring anyone to be anything, but because the energy in you has become unmistakably different. Yup, your life is always responding to you, my dear.

And when you are no longer efforting through life from the pain of a wounded father… but instead, living inside the presence of the loving God Father — you finally feel receive from simply being.

That is the peaceful life that you came here to live, my dear.

The kind where you don’t have to clench, control, and contort to get your way,
but the kind where you become one with Love’s way.

In service to Truth,
Chan Myae