How to stop worrying about things you can’t control (and feel safe even in the unknown)

“How do I fill up my launch?”
“What should I say in order to get that sale?”
“What if I don’t get the promotion?”

These are just some of the ten thousand lists of questions that many high-achieving women find themselves caught up in every day when we worry about the future.

And you can find similar thoughts like this consuming every other domain of your life too. For instance in relationships, these worries can look like:

“When will I finally meet my soul partner?”
“What if I end up being alone my whole life?”
“What would other people think of me if I finally slow down and take a step back– will they judge me?”

Even from reading these thoughts, you know how heavy it is to be thinking them. Yet your mind can’t stop from bringing them up because it thinks that worrying will somehow lead you to finally finding the solution. 

When the truth is, it will NOT. Even if you get that one sale, get that one launch filled up, now the mind becomes wrapped up in how you should perform next in order to hit your next achievement.

The same thing, even if you find your “dream man,” the mind then becomes consumed by what you should say or do in order to keep him around, or get worried about how you would raise your kids (even if you two get married) etc. 

This is the loop of (mental) suffering that many people are caught up in– especially the high-achieving, high-performing ladies.

And one of the biggest lies is that… someday… when you finally retire, when you finally have checked off all your goals, you will stop worrying.

When the truth actually is that, once you begin worrying, the mind will never stop worrying– because it thinks that suffering (i.e. worrying) is the way to success, when actually life has so much better in store for you. 

Real success is where you aren’t carrying the weight of your desires (and the fear of not getting them).

Real success is when you can be at peace, not just “some day” but everyday, with the unfolding of the process.

Real success is when you can release yourself from the pressure of needing to get to outcomes, and instead be at ease with every moment– and from there, the most aligned outcomes naturally happen. 

And if that’s what you’re craving in your life, my dear, you’ve come to the right spot of reconnecting back into your inner garden of peaceful heaven.

Become held rather than holding it all yourself

When you are worrying about your business/ your life, what you will find is that it stems from the belief that you have to carry it all alone, do it all alone. 

For instance with thoughts like,
“If I fail no one would save me”
“If I make a mistake, no one would understand me.”
“If I am alone, no one would be there for me.” 

This is the voice of the individual, small, separate self– i.e. the ego mind.

The ego mind believes that you have to “figure it out”, worry, overthink, overplan because all you have is you (and life is a scary, fearful terrain that you can never trust. 

And no wonder you feel restless, anxious, because it is the type of reality that the ego lives in. The ego lives in a fearful world, where you are isolated, alone, and separate from everyone else. 

When actually, there is God (love) who is always there with you.

God is the one who is there with you even when your bank account is low.

God is the one who sees you even when no one else sees you and your post gets crickets.

God is the one who loves you even when you haven’t found your partner yet. With God, you are always held, loved, and supported. 

But when you are worrying, you are living in the ego’s reality– the kind where you need to provide for yourself because otherwise nobody else would.

The kind where you need to “secure” a relationship because otherwise nobody else would love you.

The kind where you need to perform in order to be seen and admired by the world because otherwise, you would be “worthless,” a piece-of-nothing that has no value. 

In the ego’s world you have to be the one holding it all together, because life is unsafe and unpredictable (if you stop being the one in control).

But in truth (in God’s world), you are safe, held, and provided, regardless of the circumstances happening to you. (P.S. this isn’t just a feel good statement, it is your way of experiencing reality when you remember your soul’s truth). 

Realize what worrying is depriving you of

Another reason why we worry and we can’t stop ourselves from worrying (even though we want to) is because we don’t realize what worrying is doing to us. 

For one, it drains, deprives, and depletes you. You can immediately notice it in your body– when you are worrying, it’s like your body contracts, gets tensed up, while all you can feel is your head that is spinning on wheels, and it’s not getting anywhere other than being stuck. 

And this only is just an overview of what worrying is doing to you on your body.

Deep down, worrying sucks out your lifeforce, siphoning away all your energy– along with that, your creative ideas, your higher calling, your spark, aliveness, and excitement for life. 

If I can pinpoint one of the sneakiest, but also biggest energy drains for your mind, body, and spirit, it would be worrying.

In fact, worrying is like a whirlpool that looks like it’s doing something– but really, it’s just pulling energy away from you, draining your inner reservoir. 

Not to mention, when you are worrying you become disconnected to the higher mind (i.e. the one who knows)...

Call it your higher Self, soul wisdom, or the voice of God, there is a higher mind that speaks to you when you are calm, relaxed, and spacious… 

And you can only receive this higher wisdom (the way on how to navigate what you’re going through in the most loving, easeful way), only when your worrying mind stops trying to pick up your problems…. 

Give your worries (and problems) to something greater

The fact of the matter is, worrying is an unnecessary baggage.

The same goes for dwelling on our problems… whether that is about how you need to hit your next income goal, or keep up your audience engagement, or figure out if this man you’re dating is the one. 

And it is not your job (i.e. the ego’s job) to solve them. 

If you keep hitting the same wall– in business/career/relationships, despite everything you do, despite all the effort you’re putting in, it is because the mind is trying to carry something that it is not supposed to.

The reason why you keep feeling exhausted even though you’ve tried all the time management strategies you can think of? That’s because the mind alone can’t do that.

The reason why you keep dating similar guys with the same issues, even though you’ve “doing all the work”? That’s because the mind alone can’t do that.

Imagine, a five-year-old carrying all the weight of your responsibilities and obligations.

That same energy, my dear, is how the mind is operating in when you are wrapped up in worrying. 

When actually, there is a bigger power– God, life, Universe that has got your back. The same power who feeds the sparrows and keeps the lilies alive wants to take care of you.

And the same power that makes the tide rise and the stars glowing, wants to feed you, love you, support you. 

But when we are worrying, we’re blocking ourselves from receiving that.

Because we think we need to be the one in control of everything, when actually something bigger than us (the human) is the one in charge. And when we are trying to be the “doer”, life/God/Universe cannot work through us. 

It is only the power of God, through the grace of God, that we receive ideas and guidance– that we wouldn’t have found otherwise if you are just listening to the worrying mind. It is only through God that what our true will is done and shall be done.

And our only job is to get out of God’s way, and give your worries (and your problems) to something greater. 

~ 

My love, the thing is, worrying is an unneeded weight that burdens our souls. It never served you, and never will truly serve you– it only dangles the carrot in front of you.

In other words, worrying never leads to solutions, especially the eternal solution—the kind that leads to real peace, real rest, that lasts.

Instead of just the temporary as in… “I-need-to-fix-this-but-when-it-breaks-down-I-have-to-fix-this-again” type of solutions.

Those are the solutions that the mind is leading you to and you see how it’s breaking down over and over, because it has no real solid foundation. 

And the way to a peaceful life (where you never need not worry about the future) is to realize that problems only exist in the world of separation, control, and fear.

In God’s reality, there are no such thing as “problems”– because everything is just a manifestation of the one infinite Source (i.e. love). 

And by accepting what is here, instead of fighting against it, you free yourself from the suffering of the mind.

And only from then the next higher potential can unfold.

Such as, a business that feels fulfilling and abundant to you. Or financial opportunities that flow. Or relationships that are harmonious, supportive, and deeply connected to you. 

You can only receive fulfillment when you stop trying to fight against what God is bringing you right here, right now. Because in this moment, is where the exact next step for where God is taking you is found.