How to raise your vibration by not trying to raise your vibration

In the New age community, raising your vibration is often associated with getting what you want instantly. That if you just raise your vibration, manifestations will arrive in the blink of an eye– your ex would come back, you win unexpected sums of money, a flood of clients would sign up etc. It sounds easy, sounds simple, and fast– like a quick hit dopamine rush… almost like inserting “your vibration” into the cosmic ATM and waiting for the Universe to instantly deliver. 

But what people don’t talk about much is the quiet pressure this creates in our inner world. You may not realize this at first, but when you really listen deeper,—beneath the rituals, the routines, the affirmations—you’ll feel it: that faint yet constant contraction in your chest. That part of you saying, “I NEED to raise my vibration because I can’t bear this moment as it is.” 

It’s like standing in a sunless meadow during winter, trying to force spring to bloom by willing the petals to open. And because it’s coming from a place of lack, even when you do raise your vibration, some part of you remains curled up in anxiety, still watching the clock, wondering, Where’s my manifestation? Is it coming yet?

The problem with trying to raise your vibration

And that’s what happens when you’re always trying– trying to raise your vibration: it can make you feel as though this moment is not enough. You begin treating the present moment as though it is a waiting room for something “better.” Your peace is placed on layaway until your energy shifts, until your outer reality finally bends to your will. But that very pressure—to escape what is—is what actually pulls you away from the state you’re deeply craving inside.

Because the truth is, that state of wholeness. Peace. Contentment. The kind that feels full within doesn’t come from trying to “shoot” your vibration upward like it’s a rocket (with the pressure to get stuff). Rather, it comes from sinking even deeper into the earth, and accepting the very roots of who you are. 

However, when your desire to raise your vibration is driven by the urge to get something, your emotions become tools of transaction—a ticket for bargaining with the Universe. That is, with the belief that if you just have the right vibration (i.e. the right emotional state), then the Universe will reward you with your wishlist. 

Yet, what this does is that it turns your emotions into a rigid performance. It’s like saying to a little girl that she can only receive love– or the toy she wants– if she behaves, smiles, “acts good.” Shel is not allowed to cry, to rage, to be messy, and be human. The same way, that’s how we’re neglecting and abandoning our emotions when we are trying to raise our vibration to get things from the Universe. 

And so what happens is that we become emotionally burnt out– a type of burnout that is not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual– but is just as real as a corporate burnout. You may feel like you have to constantly be in a “good mood” because otherwise you will sabotage everything you’ve been trying to manifest. You may become afraid of your own emotions, fearing that sadness, anger, and doubt will ruin your manifestations. Then you start personally identifying with your vibration, thinking that if you are having a “low” feeling, that it must be a personal failure.

And because we begin treating our emotions as mere objects to “master” instead of actually sitting with them (i.e. the “low vibrations”), we also become more distant from the deeper part of ourselves.

We begin to feel more disconnected,like dry riverbeds that once carried purpose now lying cracked and hollow beneath a scorching sun—empty of flow, empty of meaning... And instead we become mere puppets of society (or the manifestation gurus) that says we “should” have in order to be happy, successful, and be fulfilled etc. 

And so even when we do get the manifestations it is like arriving to a “finish line” with no heartbeat. 

What it means to truly raise your vibration— and how to do it

To me, I felt my actual vibration raising when I finally stopped trying to raise it. 

That doesn’t mean vibration isn’t real—of course it is. Your state of being exactly determines what you're currently experiencing. For example, if you are experiencing love in your life, that’s because you’re cultivating a loving state of being. The same is true for abundance, joy, and freedom. We can’t experience the essence that which we are not embodying. 

But the point is to say that I actually found my actual vibration raising when I stopped focusing on it. Instead, I found relief in letting go of the “doer” who was making spirituality a game of performance like I need to get into the “right” vibration to get xyz. 

I let go of “fixer” that says that there is something “wrong” with what I’m feeling right now, and that unless I change my vibration and therefore manifest things, I can’t be at peace. 

I let go of the “judger” too, that says that this vibration is “higher” than this, this emotion is more “better” than this, and that this external outcome is “cooler” than this. Instead I welcomed it all. 

And that’s where I actually found the state– the vibration that I’ve been most looking for. It was the vibration of love, God, the Divine– where you see that everything about you has been perfect already.

It’s a state of being where you feel safe, loved, and accepted right where you are. It’s a state of being where you realize nothing was missing or lacking in you, nor you need to try to manifest things outside of you to feel more whole in the very first place. 

It’s like finally being at peace with the fact that sometimes in life, we may not get exactly the things we want (i.e. specifically what our ego minds want) but when you are tapped into the vibration of love (God), you see that even that is perfect. 

You see that even if the ex doesn’t come back, even if the money doesn’t arrive today, even if your post gets no likes…  that is perfect. 

Sure, the ego will hate this and say that is B.S. 

But truly, when you see life through the eyes of love—loving the soil of who you are and the wild garden of what is—there’s nothing you need to force or chase. The seeds of creation are already sprouting in the fertile field of the God. Our only task is to loosen our grip on how we think it should grow, and let the natural unfolding take root.

When you actually raise your vibration

And with letting go of the ego mind’s hook-grip of trying to raise your vibration in order to get outcomes, you finally begin to breathe again. Not the shallow breath of someone waiting for life to change, but the deep belly breath of a woman who has come home to herself. You begin to taste what it’s like to be truly free—free from attachments, free from the burden of control, free from the tightness that striving brings.

This is the vibration you’ve been trying to reach all along. Not by efforting your way there, but by unclenching your grip.
It’s like lying on the forest floor, cradled by the roots of something ancient and wise, and realizing: I don’t have to go anywhere to arrive anymore.

Because this freedom—this exhale—is the highest vibration of all.
It’s the song of the soul finally remembered. It’s the sound of inner stillness humming like a stream beneath all the past rigid pressure.

When you touch this place, you’re not reaching upward like a balloon begging for the sky to bring you the manifestations you want. Rather, you are settling in. Sinking into who you already are.

And from this quiet, grounded space, the golden light of your soul naturally beams forth.

This is the place where your essence begins to shimmer without effort. Like morning sunlight rippling over a still lake. Like wildflowers blooming without the need to hurry.
Here, you no longer need to chase or coax life to give you what you want. Instead, what’s meant for you begins to feel you. Begins to find you.

If you’re meant to be with that partner, he arrives like a wind that knows its way. If you’re meant to serve a soul client, she feels your resonance without needing you to prove your worth. And if they don’t come right now, that’s okay too. Because you’re no longer hinged on their arrival to be at peace.

The mind may call this is as passivity. But actually, this is your power that’s rooted, not flailing. This is your devotion to life as it is. A full-hearted participation in this moment.

Because now your vibration is no longer something to manage like a fragile flame. Rather, It becomes the hearth within you—steady, glowing, whole. Not because you forced it to rise, but because you finally allowed yourself to just be.