How to be yourself so you feel fulfilled in life

If there is one feeling in the world that feels cozy, heart-filling, soul-nourishing… like you’re finally coming home after a long way of trudging in a desert, or curling up with your favorite tea on a quiet saturday morning, I would say that that is finally learning how to be yourself. 

It’s a deep contentment, a sense of closing that “gap” inside, that nothing else in this world can bring. Not even the fancy cars or fame, not even the designer bags– they don’t scratch the surface compared to that feeling of you finally returning back to you. 

But many people will not get it. Many people in this world are busy chasing things… chasing things that would make people on social media “wow” at them, chasing the perfect body, the dream house full of stuff…. or the million dollar mansions that would turn heads…

This isn’t to say that having goals or aspirations in life is bad. If getting a dream house by the lake or if building your dream body is a calling, go you! I’m all about taking care of health and doing what lights you up. But what I mean is how a lot of people never really question whether their goals are actually theirs or not. Instead, most people (including myself in the past) are busy trying to chase what everyone else is saying, doing, and achieving… and try to do the same thing. And so feeling lost…

And this cycle of trying to be like everyone else continues until one day, you wake up in the middle of the night– having attained the promotion, the house, the car, the spouse… yet still feeling empty and isolated inside. It’s a sense of unfulfillment– feeling like you’re not as happy as you think you “should” and that there’s just something you can’t just put your finger on it. 

OR you find yourself never “arriving” to your “dream life” no matter how hard you try. You tried pushing hard in your career. You tried to dress up like those instagram influencers. You tried to perform to be there for everyone else– your coworkers, your friends, your clients (if you have a business). But when you are not yourself, you will not feel enough, not feeling like you’re ever fully accepted. You will still feel like you are always walking on egg shells wondering what your next move should be like… in your career, relationships, or business. And it’s a very tiring place to be, my dear. 

In fact, that’s where I found myself too. I found myself in a place where I became the “magnetic” coach. Someone getting DMs filled with women who wanted to work with me and people complimenting my looks and aura on livestreams. But despite all that attention and sales, I felt lost and unfulfilled, like I’m still not where I wanted to be…. And I didn’t know where I was going… little did I know, it was because my inner being was wanting to be myself. And when I finally let myself be myself, it changed everything for me. 

To you, being yourself may look different than what led me to mine. But regardless, it is the one and only thing that can bring that fulfillment that other people / things cannot give you. And here, you will finally get to know what it means to be yourself, and how to be yourself, so that your life feels like expansion, excitement, and at the same time… ease. 

How to find yourself: The Lost Lighthouse

To understand what it means to actually find yourself, take a moment to imagine this. 

You are in a small boat, drifting across a vast, endless sea. Around you is a roaring crowd of other boats, all rushing in the same direction. You’ve followed them your whole life, and their flickering lantern glow is the only sense of warmth you knew. 

And those people in boats are busy chasing what looks like a thousand diamonds on water, which only turns out to be mere reflections of the sun that fade away when you get close. And after trying that for so many times alongside them, you finally start to wake up… 

But far off in a distance, far off and away from the crowd, there is something that calls you. It’s a lighthouse, on a quiet island that you just don’t know why but it makes your heart ache with a longing, and your spirit comes alive. 

Inside that lighthouse is everything you’ve ever wanted. A feast with vibrant fruits and a banquet of food with piquant flavors that never run dry. A quaint little studio where you can create anything to life, with a magic wand that assists you with stardust. And then there is a bedside window view that gives you the most breathtaking view of the galaxies above. It’s a well of abundance, a sanctuary, a home you didn’t know you’ve always wanted. 

But to get there, there is one big obstacle at hand. You have to leave your comfort zone. That is, the crowd that you’ve always been with, the only anchor you knew. 

And most importantly, you have to go through the storms– the winds of judgements, the rain of disapproval, the waves of being misunderstood. “You’re crazy” “You’re stupid” “You’re a failure” they may say… or worse, you here the faint murmur of voices telling you how you’re disappointing them and that you’re behind compared to everyone else.

So now you feel torn… on one side, there is the urge to fulfill the likings of the crowd– the one comfort zone that has given you a sense of belonging. And on the other hand, there is the lighthouse– the glorious charm that shimmers with limitless possibilities and freedom. 

And that light house is your authentic self, my dear. She is your true self/ your soul, the one you came here to be. Your lighthouse island is a beacon of your truth, that stands out differently from anything else. She’s your guide, your map, your protection, and most importantly, the home you’ve always been seeking.

How to Be Yourself: Becoming the Wind

Once you discover this lighthouse, actually it doesn’t just end there. In fact, this is just the beginning.

Because as you get closer, you find that this lighthouse is continually changing, expanding, and growing….

And then you see that this lighthouse has a portal. It’s a doorway of breath where if you go through it… you become the wind. And once you become the wind… you can move, shift, transform, and be anything. 

All that matters to the wind is what sparks it with the lifeforce in you at this moment. Whether that’s to have the raging freedom of the rivers, or the rooted abundance of the trees, the possibilities of what the wind can be are endless. 

Yet the thing that stops you from being the wind is fear. Fear of making the “wrong” decision. Fear of being alone… being rejected… being misunderstood… being judged. All the long lists of fears that stop you from summoning the wind’s power. Instead you become trapped… by where you think you “should” be. By what other people want you to be. In your career, your business, or love. And there, my love is the root of the existential crisis… not knowing what your “next” step is. 

And the key to becoming the freedom of the wind again is to not just know what to do in your head but allow this wind essence to pass through your body. 

From there, you will speak, write, express, create, in any matter that feels like a pleasant discovery for you, without the fears at all. Fearlessness and freedom is what this wind is. 

And this is what it means to truly be yourself. It is to merge with the wind and let this inkling of desire take you wherever it wants to, instead of trapping yourself in the cage of logistics. 

And depending on who you are and where you are, this desire of the wind can morph itself into anything. For example, in your career, it may look like taking a sabbatical or it may look like starting a creative project even though your mind is saying that the market is “too saturated” or “you aren’t good enough.” 

Or in your relationships, it may look like expressing your true feelings instead of holding back because your mind is afraid of being hurt again. Or being silly, wild, and playful instead of keeping yourself ‘shut’ due to the fear of not finding the one. 

Regardless, knowing how to be yourself is to dissolve into pure desire and flow into the richness of it. No 10 step guide from the internet can take you there, in fact, it will only keep you in your head and make you overthink more (therefore keeping you trapped). To be the wind (i.e. being yourself) is to allow that naturalness inside, that is already gifted by God in the very being of who you are. 

How Being Yourself Leads to True Peace and Fulfillment

To be yourself is to finally set down the heavy bags you’ve been carrying your whole life. The weight of not being “good enough.” The weight of needing to please everyone. The weight of constantly scanning the room to see what people think of you.

It is to let those bags thud onto the earth that was always meant to carry them, not you. And with a long, trembling sigh of relief, you run toward the ocean, let the waves of self-love crash over you again and again, salt on your lips, foam at your feet, until for the first time, you feel free.

It is to step out of the narrow chamber of roles and obligations: the people-pleasing, the endless checklists, the half-smile you put on at work meetings, and walk into a meadow so wide and wild it steals your breath.

To dance barefoot in a field of flowers that remind you of your childhood afternoons, when you roamed without worrying if you were “productive” enough, a young spirit alive with wonder and no care in her heart.

And from this place, everything changes.

You build a career or a business not to prove your worth, but because it genuinely delights you. Like painting late into the night because you can’t help it, or writing words that pour out like water. The kind of work that wakes you up curious, not dreading your alarm.

You draw relationships that feel like home, where you don’t need to overthink every text, hide your quirks, or keep parts of yourself locked away. Instead, you’re loved for your unfiltered laugh, your quiet pauses, your messy humanness.

You no longer chase money, clients, or love. They find you, drawn like bees to the nectar of your wholeness.

And even in solitude, you feel complete. Like sipping tea by your window, journaling your thoughts, or sitting in silence with the sun on your face. Because deep down you know: nothing has ever been missing in you.

For me, being myself has meant writing in ways that feel like play… words falling out like petals, rather than forcing myself into marketing strategies that suffocate me. For my clients, it has meant rediscovering what intimacy feels like in friendships and love, or realizing they can feel joy again in the “mundane”: making soup, watering plants, walking slowly through the park without headphones in.

When you finally allow yourself to be yourself, you discover what you were searching for all along: the spark of your soul. And that spark, once lit, illuminates everything it touches with peace.